Dating app messaging has a credibility problem. Every app claims to be 'different.' But what do singles actually think? I asked 6 Americans about app design, prompts, and what would make them swipe with confidence. The results were illuminating.
The Participants
We recruited 6 US adults aged 23-40 - young professionals who've used dating apps and have opinions about what works and what doesn't.
Question 1: What's Your Experience With Dating Apps?
The burnout is real. Most participants have tried multiple apps and deleted most of them. What keeps them using one vs deleting it comes down to quality of matches and quality of conversations.
I'm tired of 'how was your weekend' tennis matches that lead nowhere.
They want depth faster. Surface-level conversations are exhausting. The apps that win are the ones that help people connect meaningfully, quickly.
Question 2: Does 'Designed to Be Deleted' Resonate?
This messaging is polarising. Half found it 'refreshing and honest' - a breath of fresh air in an industry full of engagement-maximising dark patterns.
But the other half? 'That's exactly what a company wanting my money would say.' The scepticism is REAL. Marketing claims without proof don't land.
Question 3: What Features Help You Have Better Conversations?
Prompts were the clear winner. 'The prompts help me have something to say instead of just hey.' But there's a catch - 'most of the prompt answers I see feel like job interview responses.'
Voice notes - 'A 10-second voice note hello, I hear the tone. No filter. No fake cool text.'
Everyday prompts - 'about real life: kids, faith, work hours. Not your wild dream.'
Mandatory engagement - 'No chat until both answer 2 prompts. Then we have a topic.'
Clear values tags - 'wants kids or no, faith yes or no, smoke or drink'
No chat until both answer 2 prompts. Then we have a topic. No 'hey sexy' first line.
Key Takeaways for Product Teams
Marketing claims need proof - 'designed to be deleted' resonates for some but triggers scepticism in others
Prompts are powerful but need to feel authentic, not like job interviews
Voice notes before text chat is a highly desired feature
Users want depth faster - help them skip the small talk
Values alignment matters - make it easy to signal what matters
The full study with all responses is available to explore.
